Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Big Tent Cell Coverage

So I just read a post in the WaPo about the Republican party needing a bigger tent.  Well, maybe Republicans are just too well bred, but they need bigger minds.  The following is an adapted view to that WaPo editorial.

So both parties turned out their base.  Yeah, what's new?  Maybe in the future the D+6 turnout will shrink.  Uhhh, no.  That'd mean giving up the free cell phone.  So the journalist suggests three necessary tasks to reclaim the government.

First, to hold the current administration accountable.  Yeah, right.  And how'd we get where we are?  Certainly not through accountability and I don't think the government is hiring in that department.  Paging Senator Fauchahontas...  Nor is the media formerly know as mainstream.  And transparency?  Have you ever seen the three shell shuffle?  If you weren't born seeing through the act, you'll never get to transparency.  Develop new and responsible journalists?  And a D+6 is gonna read him on his sometimes not so smart but totally free phone?  I have my wading boots on now.

Moving on, next is to convert D's to R's.  Real stand up comedy died years ago and has been replaced by the unionized education/day care center business.  Ain't.  Gonna.  Happen.  No diehard D educator is gonna trade a free cell phone for a two year contract.  Not even by preaching 'free market capitalism.'  I mean, what the hell do Republicans think 'free market' means to a liberal?

But the final great idea is to reach out to an expanding supply of 'new voters.'  Well, there's two kinds of new voters.  Europeans who spend thousands of bucks and painful months waiting for one of a very few but coveted visas.  And those who come to get a free cell phone.  Get the trend?

The real conclusion to the assumptions postulated by the journalist is that the party formerly known as Republican just needs a bigger tent but has no conclusion about a conservative state of mind.  And judging from the candidates seen and/or elected by Conservative voters, those Representatives do NOT even know where to find the part of town where those free cell phones are in use.  I suspect their limo drivers know, even without the GPS on a cell phone.

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